


How to Piss Off Shimura Shinpachi

by Ki_no_Shirayuki



Series: 刺し子 — Sashiko [4]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Anger, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Character Study, Crack, Cultural References, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Fandom Allusions & Cliches & References, Gen, Humor, Lists, POV First Person, Rants, WTF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 07:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10078799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki_no_Shirayuki/pseuds/Ki_no_Shirayuki
Summary: No matter how you look at it, a "plain" guy has emotions too!





	

**Being the Only Sane Man** in the whole of Edo, no question.

 **It is Kagura-chan** who adopted Sadaharu but me who _actually_ takes care of him.

 **The fact that** I still haven't received my salary (though in all honesty, I don't blame Gin-san).

 **No matter how you look at it,** "plain" is not a compliment.

 **Neither is it nice** when "plainness" still doesn't make you immune to fangirls.

 **I just read in the daily newspaper** that Otsuu-chan is engaged to some rich guy from England. It's a joke, right? _Please_ tell me it's a joke! Please please pleeeease? I mean, she was duped by her fiancé once, so it's gonna be exactly the same this time, right? Also, _England_? Really? She can't even speak English properly! What are they gonna do, hire an interpreter to tag along with them _even on their honeymoon_?

 **When I get sick** or injured and can't cook, and my sister decides to take things into her own hands.

 **As well as** her refusal to acknowledge that violence is _not_ a good way to respond to stalking and that it gives her a bad reputation among Gintama fans.

 **When the tickets** for a concert of Otsuu-chan's are sold out before I can get my hands on them, and then other members of the fan club would go into outrage. I'm not mad at them for being outraged at me, I'm annoyed that as the President, I have allowed myself to be incompetent in those times.

 **Gin-san's** utter unawareness of the dangers of gambling.

 **Is it too much** that I ask you not to breathe in my face after drinking strawberry milk, Gin-san? Another whiff of that and I'll get instant diabetes!

 **The fact that** he honestly believes adding chocolate to curry sauce makes it taste better. Congrats Gin-san, your culinary skills are almost as excellent as those of my sister.

 **How are I** — a living, breathing human being — and a pair of glasses — an inanimate object — one and the same?

 **The way** Katsura-san sneaks into our house without prior notice.

 **Why are glasses** on Gin-san considered "hot" while on me they're considered "plain" and "uninteresting"? I'm sorry, but I won't have double standards for lunch.

 **The fact that** I'm not allowed to throw away any of Gin-san's JUMP issues, even though they are stacking up and starting to take up a lot of space.

 **Every time** Kagura-chan calls me "shitty glasses."

 **Every time** we sit down and brainstorm ideas to improve the show. It ends in disaster each time.

 **Gin-san,** what do you mean I can never marry Otsuu-chan? What do you mean I should have a "realistic life goal"? As if you even have a life goal in the first place!

 **Being the only one** to notice a pattern in each and every pet peeve list compiled so far…

 **I already told you** a hundred times, Gin-san, Sei Shōnagon died 5 eras ago! Also, Sacchan-san, please take off that ridiculous Heian costume! You're knocking stuff over with it!

 **I know what you're doing,** Kagura-chan! Stop reading over my shoulder!

**Author's Note:**

> On an unrelated note: I used to have this idea of an Around the World in 80 Days parody in which the Odd Jobs' fridge is broken and they must complete a journey around the globe in 80 days in order to win a huge sum of money that will go into fixing the fridge which they still don't get in the end.


End file.
